Tuesday, July 13, 2021
How much can you give?
Life is full of trials. As a woman, i gave myself to marriage, i gave myself to my husband, i gave myself to my children and i gave myself to my job.
Well, it sound simple just like that. i gave my energy and time to my career as well. i gave my energy and time to housekeeping, upbringing, minding, caring, providing, sex and much more.
After all these years, i keep on giving, and people around me keep on demanding. what hurt most is that i dont have support. As much as i hope my husband would tolerate and understand, he keep demanding more and more from me to the point im lost for thought, words, energy and im going mad.
However im so Thankful to God that he choose me to be His child. Im thankful that i give my life to God 20years ago. He is my strenght and deliverer in all this trouble and trials i went through in my life.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
making any sense???
my life is pretty low lately..i could tell that i feel stuck. I'm out of idea what to do..actually i dont have time to do anything for myself at this moment. my mind always went blank. I start to accept this situation, and losing me again..i need to hold on to something before i really losing myself again this time. I must fight for my life and my brain. i can feel my brain is decaying..
each time i log on to fb, when i wanted to post something on my status..i'm lost, don't really know what to type there. you can tell that my life is really low..how do i get here?? i really need to get back on track, but my husband always become a big boulder in front of me, making me stuck and can't move forward. i hate this. i constantly seeking and getting ideas to get out of my stagnant situation now, but he turn off all the posibilities of making it happen. I want to be free! not free from my husband, don't get me wrong, i love that guy to death..i mean, i want to be free in taking chances, risks, and changes. the sadis part is, my husband can't play the card along with me. He's a 'safe' type, the opposite of me (that y we got married, we complete each other ;))
now, how and what should i do about this? should i just sit here waiting for an answer from God, or i should work harder on it..well, the bible said "faith without action is dead" i guess i do both then..I pray that my husband will at least support me a bit in my effort this time. coz he's all talk all this while, but when it come to real thing, he's all againts it. i guess that's why, my Hope is in God alone, and totally can't count on my husband's support.
urrhhhh..clearmyhead!
each time i log on to fb, when i wanted to post something on my status..i'm lost, don't really know what to type there. you can tell that my life is really low..how do i get here?? i really need to get back on track, but my husband always become a big boulder in front of me, making me stuck and can't move forward. i hate this. i constantly seeking and getting ideas to get out of my stagnant situation now, but he turn off all the posibilities of making it happen. I want to be free! not free from my husband, don't get me wrong, i love that guy to death..i mean, i want to be free in taking chances, risks, and changes. the sadis part is, my husband can't play the card along with me. He's a 'safe' type, the opposite of me (that y we got married, we complete each other ;))
now, how and what should i do about this? should i just sit here waiting for an answer from God, or i should work harder on it..well, the bible said "faith without action is dead" i guess i do both then..I pray that my husband will at least support me a bit in my effort this time. coz he's all talk all this while, but when it come to real thing, he's all againts it. i guess that's why, my Hope is in God alone, and totally can't count on my husband's support.
urrhhhh..clearmyhead!
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Sunday, February 20, 2011
the three of us
for the 1st time, my husband and i brought our little boy on a trip for the weekend. It is really fun, i love being away and having quality time with my son. of course now he is 8 months old, i need to pack differently from before. the whole experience was refreshing.
we went to the beach, and let him explore the sand..he enjoyed it so much and so as the sea breeze. we went to a seafood restaurant, he make friend with a cute cat there. And, instead of missing his bath in his own tub at home, he squeaks happily having shower together with me. He easily adapt to new environment.
we took photos for the memory, he's pretty excited to posed in every snap. all i have to say, he is so much like his mom and dad..hihihihi..
looking forward another trip ;)
we went to the beach, and let him explore the sand..he enjoyed it so much and so as the sea breeze. we went to a seafood restaurant, he make friend with a cute cat there. And, instead of missing his bath in his own tub at home, he squeaks happily having shower together with me. He easily adapt to new environment.
we took photos for the memory, he's pretty excited to posed in every snap. all i have to say, he is so much like his mom and dad..hihihihi..
looking forward another trip ;)
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Turning point
For nearly 6 months, i have taking my body for granted..i dont really care about it. I totally ignore my look, figure and my health. i always use the reason just gave birth as an excuse. lately, i realize how unhealthy i was, i have been coughing for 2 weeks, my sore throat is still there til today and wjole lot more sickness which i always ignore. i realize my immune system wasnt like it used to be. not to mention that now i put on weight like i never did before.
I straight away know that i need to control over my body again. So i start to find remedies, work out plan, bought myself real bras than those maternity bras i wore all this while for comfy, start eating healthy, reduce my portion, redo my wardrobe, study my skin n face and lots more to get my body back to what it was before. I should've done this months ago. well i know it's not too late now.
This chinese new year somehow bring a new vibe to me..well i know blessing comes in so many type ^_^
I straight away know that i need to control over my body again. So i start to find remedies, work out plan, bought myself real bras than those maternity bras i wore all this while for comfy, start eating healthy, reduce my portion, redo my wardrobe, study my skin n face and lots more to get my body back to what it was before. I should've done this months ago. well i know it's not too late now.
This chinese new year somehow bring a new vibe to me..well i know blessing comes in so many type ^_^
Friday, December 31, 2010
tis the season to be jolly!
I went back to my family home for christmas. It was as nostalgic and memorable as always. all of my siblings are grown ups and mostly with own family and children now. For me, this time the situation is definitely different from what it was before.
Back then, when i was a little bit younger, i use to complaint on how i had to do everything when i went back for holiday. But this time, my sisters and sis in law seems to be a bit alert and quite good at lending hand to share the chores. I'm so glad this happen. Maybe that i'm wit a baby, so they kinda realize that i can't do all by myself already, plus my baby is a lil bit scared of them (he didnt use to be around them, so he consider them as stranger huhu)
Good thing to see improvement in my sisters and sis in law. I'm a bit restrained to do things this time as my bby seeking for my attention most of the time. but still i enjoy the holiday just chit chating with my bro and sis. we having a gud laugh and share some new jokes haha! and the moment that i cherish the most is bringing my baby to meet my grandparents for the 1st time. my grandfather was so excited to see his great grandchildren.
It worth all just for the sake of the memories we have and beautiful time i spent with my big family.
Happy new year everyone!
Back then, when i was a little bit younger, i use to complaint on how i had to do everything when i went back for holiday. But this time, my sisters and sis in law seems to be a bit alert and quite good at lending hand to share the chores. I'm so glad this happen. Maybe that i'm wit a baby, so they kinda realize that i can't do all by myself already, plus my baby is a lil bit scared of them (he didnt use to be around them, so he consider them as stranger huhu)
Good thing to see improvement in my sisters and sis in law. I'm a bit restrained to do things this time as my bby seeking for my attention most of the time. but still i enjoy the holiday just chit chating with my bro and sis. we having a gud laugh and share some new jokes haha! and the moment that i cherish the most is bringing my baby to meet my grandparents for the 1st time. my grandfather was so excited to see his great grandchildren.
It worth all just for the sake of the memories we have and beautiful time i spent with my big family.
Happy new year everyone!
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
holiday
Holiday season is here. will be goin back to hometown tomoro. I'm a bit nervous travelling with my 6 month old for the 1st time without his dad. we'll get on the 1st flight out. Preparing things for my lil one for this trip is trying me..well first time mom hv it all i guess..haha..i just carefully decide what to bring, how many, & how to get this journey an enjoyable one for my active son. my husband remind me (before he went travelling this morning) to make sure we travel as light as we can, coz i need to handle my boy. The baby carrier will do well i hope..and i will go only in one back pack.
i'm so excited already..and so as my son. i keep on telling him about the trip tht we gonna take (a relative advise me to do so, so tht baby can settle easily into the trip) and most important thing, this is the first time i bring my baby "balik kampung" to my hometown.
i'm so excited already..and so as my son. i keep on telling him about the trip tht we gonna take (a relative advise me to do so, so tht baby can settle easily into the trip) and most important thing, this is the first time i bring my baby "balik kampung" to my hometown.
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