my life is pretty low lately..i could tell that i feel stuck. I'm out of idea what to do..actually i dont have time to do anything for myself at this moment. my mind always went blank. I start to accept this situation, and losing me again..i need to hold on to something before i really losing myself again this time. I must fight for my life and my brain. i can feel my brain is decaying..
each time i log on to fb, when i wanted to post something on my status..i'm lost, don't really know what to type there. you can tell that my life is really low..how do i get here?? i really need to get back on track, but my husband always become a big boulder in front of me, making me stuck and can't move forward. i hate this. i constantly seeking and getting ideas to get out of my stagnant situation now, but he turn off all the posibilities of making it happen. I want to be free! not free from my husband, don't get me wrong, i love that guy to death..i mean, i want to be free in taking chances, risks, and changes. the sadis part is, my husband can't play the card along with me. He's a 'safe' type, the opposite of me (that y we got married, we complete each other ;))
now, how and what should i do about this? should i just sit here waiting for an answer from God, or i should work harder on it..well, the bible said "faith without action is dead" i guess i do both then..I pray that my husband will at least support me a bit in my effort this time. coz he's all talk all this while, but when it come to real thing, he's all againts it. i guess that's why, my Hope is in God alone, and totally can't count on my husband's support.
urrhhhh..clearmyhead!
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